Mon. 03/31: Torpedoes, Turds, & Third Terms

From baseball bats built like missiles to precinct pranks gone full psycho, today’s Top 5 is a chaos buffet. We’re talking Yankees going nuclear at the plate, a Jersey police chief running the world’s grossest HR department, Trump flirting with a third term (again), submarines full of cocaine, and a massive earthquake rocking an already unstable Myanmar. It’s politics, sports, crime, and cocaine—with your daily dose of side-eye.

• Trump signs executive order requiring proof of citizenship to register to vote in federal elections
• Trump says he ‘couldn’t care less’ if foreign automakers raise prices due to tariffs
• How a devastating natural disaster has been made worse by Myanmar’s brutal civil war | | The Guardian
• "Narco sub" loaded with 6.5 tons of cocaine seized in Atlantic Ocean with help from DEA, Portugal police say - CBS News
• Torpedo-shaped bats draw eyes after Yankees record homers | AP News
• NJ Police Chief Accused of Pooping on Floor, Spiking Cops' Coffee With Viagra