Jonni Kuest

Tues. 03/25: Saudi Talks, Signal Fails, and Diddy’s Legal Limbo

March 25th, 2025  |  8 mins 47 secs

Trump’s crew thinks a Signal group chat is a secure comms channel—spoiler, it’s not. Meanwhile, the administration walks away from Saudi talks with less than a ceasefire but more than zero, Diddy gets half a lawsuit dropped, and an Oscar-winning Palestinian filmmaker gets arrested for existing. Plus, your women’s March Madness bracket is about to get wrecked.

Mon. 03/24: DNA, DMs, and Dumb Decisions

March 24th, 2025  |  11 mins 1 sec

Private chats re Houthi attacks in Yemen in Signal got leaked to a journalist like it was WhatsApp in 2012, Trumpito’s back in court doing his best impression of a man who’s never read the Constitution, and 23andMe just filed for bankruptcy—which, let’s be real, is poetic for a company that sold your DNA like Groupon coupons. We say goodbye to the champ George Foreman, grill king and heavyweight icon, and spotlight the 21-year-old in NYC who just became the first person cured of sickle cell disease with a one-and-done gene therapy. Science wins. Privacy loses. And Trump’s still Trump.

Thurs. 03/20: Billion-Dollar Deals, Government Teardowns, and Hollywood Dumpster Fires

March 20th, 2025  |  13 mins 33 secs

Hollywood meltdowns, billion-dollar sports sales, and the government making moves no one asked for—welcome to another day in 2025. We break down Gal Gadot’s protest-filled Walk of Fame ceremony, Disney’s Snow White disaster (spoiler: it’s bad), and why Boston fans just got even more unbearable with the Celtics’ $6.1 billion sale. Then, Trump decides schools are overrated and signs an executive order to gut the Department of Education, because why not? Plus, March Madness is here, which means brackets are getting destroyed, and Vegas is making all the money. And finally, a PSA: stop lighting Teslas on fire. Seriously.

Wed. 03/19: Rigged Jackpots, Bird Flu Chaos, and Drake’s Legal eL

March 19th, 2025  |  10 mins 29 secs

A $95 million Texas Lottery hack that might get shut down, the JFK files drop that wasn’t the bombshell some hoped for, Trump’s FTC purge and Musk’s Social Security overhaul, RFK Jr.’s bird flu “strategy” (spoiler: it’s chaos), and Drake suing UMG over a diss track… and getting roasted in court. Plus, a 3-year-old hero saves the day.

Stay tuned for the best, the worst, and the downright ridiculous in today’s Top 5 at Five!

180: Forever 21 Lies, Roku Spies, and Trumpito Tries

March 18th, 2025  |  11 mins 11 secs

Trumpito is back at it—spinning a non-ceasefire in Ukraine, throwing tantrums about judges, and quietly rehiring the government workers he fired. Roku is testing autoplay ads before you even reach the home screen (gross). Meanwhile, Forever 21 is finally shutting its doors for good, aka Temporary 21, and the great black spatula panic turned out to be a whole lot of nothing. But don’t worry—it’s not all bad. A man just survived 100 days with a titanium heart, and it might just change the future of medicine. Let’s get into it.

179: Trump’s Deportation Party; Harvard’s Freebies; and Alexa’s Listening (to Literally Everything); Plus more News!

March 17th, 2025  |  12 mins 24 secs

Happy Monday, Top 5 fam! Today, we’re breaking down the weekend’s wildest news: Trump ignored a judge and shipped Venezuelan gangsters to El Salvador anyway, Arlington Cemetery casually erased minority war heroes (history? who needs it?), and Amazon decided your Echo should record your every whispered secret—because privacy is so 2024. Plus, Harvard finally shares some of its cash mountain, Biden’s pardons might be fake (if you believe Trump’s Autopen conspiracy), and a hero-rescue-turned-engagement gives us all hope that romance isn’t dead. Let’s dive into the madness!

178: Shutdown Showdown, Tesla’s ‘Fake’ Robotaxi, and a Plane on Fire?!

March 14th, 2025  |  9 mins 24 secs

Government shutdown averted, but at what cost? Waymo’s ex-CEO calls Tesla’s robotaxi launch a total scam. An American Airlines plane literally caught fire in Denver. Plus, Trump’s bold tax plan and the push to shut down the Department of Education. It’s a wild one—let’s get into it.

173: WOW! Who Would Do Such a Thing to Lady Gaga's Dogs?!; Now It's 3 Shots, What's Next?; King Cuomo's In a Lot of Hot Water Lately; & More News!

February 25th, 2021  |  7 mins 55 secs

It's Thursday ya'll. Today we talk about Pfizer testing a 3 booster shot for the vacuna; Gov Cuomo's being accused of a lot lately, and he has a lot to answer for; Twitter introduces 2 new interesting features; China's being anal again with their testing; Lady Gaga's dogs were stolen and her dog walker shot in LA

172: Tiger Woods in TRAGIC Car Accident; Johnson&Johnson One-Shot Vaccine Works!; Biden vs. China’s Chips; & More News!

February 24th, 2021  |  7 mins 39 secs

Happy Hump Day! In today’s show we start with the story of Tiger Wood’s car accident and current condition; Johnson & Johnson’s COVID-19 vaccine is proven effective; Biden has an EO to take on the China supply chain; Is it time for Jeep to get rid of the Grand Cherokee name?; Sony announces 4 more months of Play At Home

161: Anything Happen Today? Let’s Find Out...

January 21st, 2021  |  3 mins 1 sec

It’s Thursday y’all! Let’s rundown the news headlines on a slow news day. Talk next week!

160: The Inauguration of 46; Philip Rivers Retires; Pushing 43 years to Life in Thailand; & More!

January 20th, 2021  |  10 mins 6 secs

Happy Hump Day! Today we start with an inaugural recap and commentary; 45 is gone. Here’s what went down his last day; SAT College Board is ditching parts of the crucial exam; A woman from Thailand was jailed for 43 years just for criticizing the Monarchy; Philip Rivers has retired after 17 years in the NFL; and bonus news!

159: NY Mets’ PeePee Pic; Senate Back in Session; Farmer Bill (Gates) & More News!

January 19th, 2021  |  10 mins 47 secs

It’s Tuesday. Today we start with the Senate being back in session and all they have going on; The outgoing fools of the current administration released a stupid book report on how racist america really is, I mean, not racist, I mean, well, you know; Farmer Bill. The largest farm land owner in the country; The NY Mets had to fire their GM today. Find out why.; FireEye released a report and a tool to help companies see if they too have been hacked like SolarWinds; and more!

158: Hot Pocket Recall; He Got 99 Pardons, Is His B!tchass One?; Living in the Airport Terminal; & More News!

January 18th, 2021  |  9 mins 12 secs

Happy Monday! Today we start with one of Biden’s first day Executive orders, concerning the Keystone XL Pipeline; Trump’s last full day in office is tomorrow and he’s expected to drop a lot of pardons, like almost 100. Who will make the list?; Nestle recalls 763K pounds of Hot Pockets; A man was arrested for living 3 months in the Chicago O’Hare Airport. Find out why; The NFL Divisions Playoffs were this weekend, I’ll give you a quick rundown of what happened. And happy 99th birthday to Betty White!

157: Biden’s Stimulus Package; #ResignBoebert; Run for the Meatless Border; & More News!

January 14th, 2021  |  9 mins 49 secs

It’s Thursday yah. We start today talking about Biden’s need to get some Cabinet approvals and his upcoming stimulus package; Rep. Lauren Boebert needs to go, and she’s only been working a week; Drivers in California are suing to prevent Prop 22; Google finishes its acquisition of Fitbit and swears it wont touch the health data; TacoBell chooses Beyond Meat for their protein alternative; & more news

156: 1 Peach, 2 Peach; Almost a Millionaire; Netflix Movie of the Week; & More News!

January 13th, 2021  |  10 mins 54 secs

Happy Hump Day! In today’s show we start with The Impeachment, Part Deux; The Census Bureau says no thanks to the Trump squad; Imagine almost being a millionaire, but forgetting your password; The Saudis want to build a new country and a new city that’s, well a bit different; Netflix is going to release a new movie every week in 2021! Plus bonus breaking sports news! (At the time of this recording)

155: Pompeo Stood Up at the EU Prom; What The Heck is WiFi 6E?; Signal vs. WhatsApp; & More News!

January 12th, 2021  |  8 mins 50 secs

It’s Tuesday. In today’s show we start with the latest in Trump’s responsibility over the insurrection; Mike Pompeo gets dissed by the European Union; Why is everyone suddenly trying to stop using WhatsApp and switch to Signal?; What the heck is Wifi6E and why should I care?; And just like that, the ladies are back on your tube.